More Tedious Pasty Related Guff

I'm watching the BBC news. David 'weak chin' Cameron is disingenuously trying to justify this controversial 'pasty tax' by explaining how unfair it is that your average fish and chip shop must pay VAT on sales whilst the supermarket giants don't pay any on hot chicken from the rotisserie.

He's a regular, modern day Robin Hood alright, or at least he would be if VAT actually worked the way it seems to in his imagination.

Companies don't really 'pay' VAT on sales, Dave. They apply VAT to their sales and CHARGE it to us, the end users. We're the suckers who actually PAY it.

I'm not sure whether politicians think we're all gullible fools or whether they don't actually know what they're talking about a lot of the time (maybe a bit of both) but it concerns me that no one 'in power' seems to have thought through the implications of this strategy beforehand.

Imagine the farcical situation of food sellers running outside to check the ambient temperature every ten minutes before determining their prices (no pressure for businesses there, Dave).

(Pic shamelessly plagiarised from today's Daily Mail.

I daresay I'll have to take it down soon so enjoy it while you can)

If I disagree with the way a company is being managed I can sell my shares. If I disagree with the way the country is being managed, its just TOUGH.

We need a way to get rid of these politicians quickly when they're as hopeless & weak as Cameron (I'm not suggesting we shoot them by the way, tempting as that sounds).

Four years is too long. They can ruin the country in that amount of time and we have no method of recourse afterwards.

If we can't prosecute them for their wasteful decisions, we should at least implement an interim appraisal at the half way point. It needn't be too costly. We can just put an extra pressy button on our TV remotes and if enough people vote 'nay', they can be thrown into a giant mincer and made into a big pasty. It would be sold whilst hot to harvest a little more VAT of course. I'd happily hand over £1.60 of my own hard earned dosh for a piece of that pasty. Every little helps, right Dave?

The Benefits of Professional Body Membership

Our story begins way back in yore (2008). Those were heady days. It was a time when people actually spoke to one another, with real words FROM THEIR ACTUAL MOUTHS.  Yet one brave visionary (me) - who incidentally, was also stick thin with traffic stopping, flawless skin (may as well milk this a bit) - saw a future where the art of speaking would become redundant, and instead, would be replaced with type via strange forums such as Twitter. 


This is the story of that courageous girl's fearless fight to haul her stuffy professional body into the brave new world of communication using technology... 

Me: Hello professional body, to whom I pay gazillions of £ to be a member. I notice we don't have a LinkedIn group. Are you going to start one? 


PB: Nah 


Me: I think it's important. Social Networking is likely to be the main way people communicate in a few years time. 


PB: Nah 


Me: Even though you're a reasonably big organisation and I'm just a maggot under your shoe who you fleece for my hard earned cash, I'd still be happy to set it up for the benefit of all members 


PB: Nah 


Me: *sets up LinkedIn group anyway* 
      *nurtures it for 4 years* 
      *watches it grow to quite a size, all the while contacting PB regularly to ask if anyone wants to participate* 
      *eventually stops asking after becoming utterly jaded by the consistent 'Nah' response* 
      *receives message (via LinkedIn - Oh, the irony!) from a random consultant* 


Consultant: Hello. I'm being paid squillions of £ from the subs YOU PAY to your Professional Body. They want me to develop a social networking strategy for them so I thought I'd ask for your input as you've clearly already set it all up. 


Me: *bemused face* Well, ok, I'd be happy to work with you if it means we can improve the group for everyone. 


£C: Super! I'll be in touch again soon 


Me: *never hears from consultant again* 


Six months later... 


PB: Hello, we've decided that we need a LinkedIn Group. We can see you've done sterling work setting up a group already so we'll just take that one. Here are some instructions in case you don't know how to appoint another group administrator (that bit was particularly galling). Just make us an administrator and we'll remove you and take things from there. 


Me: *bristling* Thanks but I think I'll hang on to the administrator rights myself now to be honest. I'm happy to work with you though. I'll make you all group members so you can have lots of input in the forums too. I'm sure we can achieve more benefit for everyone if we all work together and share information 


PB: No way! Give us your group or we'll stop you using our logo, the logo that YOU pay squillions of £ each year to use so that you can demonstrate your membership of this farce of a professional body 


Me: *blows up the internet* *shoots self* 


There you go folks, the benefits of joining my 'professional' body.

Can I Offer Anyone a Small Sherry?

North East councils are meeting tonight to debate the far reaching effects of alcohol misuse in the region. They want to introduce minimum prices to stop alcohol being so accessible, particularly to youngsters.

If their plan is successful then they're hoping that the next generation of kids shouldn't (in theory) spend their days pissed
up in our local parks. Winner!

That's all well and good, however I'd still like to know what they plan to do to help those people ALREADY struggling with alcohol addiction RIGHT NOW.

We have some of the worst documented problems with addiction in this region, yet the services here in the North East are woefully inadequate and policy decisions are usually made by people with absolutely no real idea of the kind of help people need.

A three day physical detox in the local hospital is all well and good to prevent seizures from alcohol withdrawal but there's no therapeutic intervention and, despite the revamped NICE guidelines, waiting lists for psychotherapy in this area can still take up to TWO YEARS.

That's always assuming you're lucky enough to be allocated to a psychotherapist who understands addiction of course, as opposed to someone who opts for that cop out diagnosis of 'borderline personality disorder'.

Labels aren't helpful at the best of times but BPD has to be one of the most damaging of all in my opinion and all it usually means is that the psychiatrist/psychologist simply didn't have a clue what else to label you with.

I have a LOT of experience with addictions, both in my personal life and also, with my involvement with local organisations dealing with addiction and the issues that stem from it, so I'm not just a member of the do-gooder, woolly jumper brigade.

I'm involved with it first hand & I see the devastating effects on the wider community, the family, the kids being taken into care, the women (and sometimes men) being beaten by their partners, the thefts to fund a spree, the evictions from homes & subsequent decline from B&B to hostel to park bench.

I see the way people bounce around psychiatric units and A&E departments and I've also seen people die; either through accidents whilst drinking, physical illnesses associated with drinking or very often, good old fashioned suicide, so the idea that all of these problems can be solved by a three day physical detox in a hospital ward is laughable.

The healthcare professionals I speak to scratch their heads in despair as they see the same people bouncing around the same inadequate system. They think it's self inflicted and their patient CHOOSES to drink when in fact, most addicts hate the way their lives are turning out but have absolutely no mental defence against picking up a drink again.

Nothing will ever change without the addict being allowed a safe place in a therapeutic environment with (preferably) psychoanalysts or psychotherapists who can help them to pick apart the reasons they drink and help them to create their own strategies for keeping themselves safe in future.

The economic effects of the current 'treatment' cycle on an already overstretched healthcare system must be horrendous. Just take a moment to consider the costs that spring to mind immediately, apart from the hospital detox...

Think about hospital treatment following drunken falls, fights etc., social services intervention, costs relating to children being kept in care, the next generation of costs from the well documented issues arising from adults who grew up in care, crime, policing, prison. I could go on forever really.

Isn't it better, both from an economic perspective but also from a social perspective, to get the addict the treatment they ACTUALLY need? To help them recover so they can break the cycle of destruction and go on to lead useful lives and become valuable members of society like the rest of us?

People often say that mental health services are the 'poor relation' in comparison to acute, clinical service provision. Well if that's true, then addiction is the Great Aunt twice removed in terms of mental health service provision.

You all know great Aunt (insert your own choice of name here). That weird woman you only ever see at Christmas? The one who comes for Christmas lunch, talks gibberish, sucks the liquor from your Christmas chocolates & puts the empty shells back in the box?

The one who takes her teeth out to eat Christmas lunch and leaves them at the side of her plate while the whole family tries hard not to look for fear they'll puke their brussels sprouts back up.

The one who drains the sherry bottle before falling asleep in front of the TV, her toothless mouth gaping open to allow the rumbling snores to escape and vibrate around the room until you can't hear the soundtrack of the film you're trying to watch.

The one who pisses herself on your best, most expensive chair before she's quickly despatched home in a taxi and you can thank your lucky stars that it's over, that you've done 'your bit' but there's no way you're doing it next year and you're going to force your sister to take her turn for once.

Sound familiar? Well that's exactly what's happening with addicts in this region. The only difference is that their health issue is supposedly being TREATED and WE are paying a fortune for these desperate souls to keep repeating the same inadequate, ineffective cycle time after time after time...

I hope the councils are successful with their 'minimum price' alcohol strategy tonight. It won't stop anyone buying booze but it'll certainly raise more money and I hope that money comes back to the councils who, for once, may choose to consult with people who truly understand addiction and can advise them how to use that money for practical, useful, often lifesaving, intervention.

I hope...

PS - If any of this has touched a nerve with you, you may find the following websites useful.

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/

http://www.ukna.org/

http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/





- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Could You Be Our New Family?

Hello. We are Maisie and William and we are looking for a new home and a new family to love and take care of us. In return we will give you lots of love, purry cuddles and giggles. Can you help?

Our mum was killed by a car when we were just five weeks old so we came here to live with Jules. At first we needed help to eat our dinners and we really missed our Mum so we needed lots of extra cuddles but we'll be ten weeks old tomorrow (2 June), and we're big enough now to live with a family without needing any special help.

We need a family who wants both of us. We're still quite little and we like to sleep together and play together.  Our tummies are tiny and we get full quite quickly so it would be best if our new family could give us small but frequent meals. Jules gives us something to eat every four hours but it won't be long before our tummies have grown and then we'll just need food in the morning and again in the evening. We like looking out of the window and we'd like to play outside when we're older but our new family will need to get us vaccinated and chipped before we can do that. We'll also need neutering/spaying but Jules can tell you how to get vouchers so you won't have to pay very much for that.

Jules would like us to live here forever but sadly, it isn't possible. There are other cats living here with Jules and they aren't used to having lots of small kitties around. One of them, the oldest one, is a little bit grumpy and set in her ways and since we came to live here, she rarely comes home anymore. This makes everyone feel bad and she's been here for lots of years so it isn't really very fair.

Jules also has something called 'asthma' and having extra kitties around is making it hard for her to breathe properly. When we first came to live here she got a bit poorly and had to go in a funny van with flashing lights on top to make her better again. She's been away on holiday for two days and her lungs have worked properly but now she's back home with us, she can't breathe and we don't want to make her poorly again.

We thought it might be useful to tell you a little bit about each of us so you can decide if we might be happy in your house.

William

Hello. I'm William. I have short hair and very beautiful markings down my sides and tummy.

My legs seem to be too big for my body at the minute so I'm a bit of an ungainly creature but Jules thinks I'll grow to fit my legs soon and I believe her. When I do she says I'll be a beautiful, refined and dignified cat and she'll feel very proud of me.

I love to chase pieces of string and I particularly like climbing curtains. Jules thinks this is really funny but I can easily learn not to do it if my new family don't like it and anyway, Jules says lots of cats do that when they're little like me but they grow out of it as they get older. I don't scratch furniture and I know how to use the litter tray so I wouldn't cause too much disruption in my new home.

I'm very affectionate and I like to be picked up quite a lot. I have a lot of energy for playing but only in short bursts so for now, while I'm still little, I like to have a snooze in between games. I love snoozing on Jules lap and I purr like a tractor as soon as she comes near me because I know it means she's going to fuss me up.

Maisie

Hello. I'm Maisie. I'm a long haired tabby and as I get older I'll need some help to keep my beautiful fur looking it's best. Jules has a special brush and although the brush is bigger than me, I quite like it when she brushes my coat with it and I'd like my new family to brush me too.

I'm smaller than my brother but I'm also braver than him and I'm learning how to jump quite high to catch the mice that Jules throws for me. I love to climb but I don't climb curtains; I prefer to climb legs. Sometimes Jules lets me ride around the house whilst clinging on to her thigh. She doesn't seem to mind the tiny scratches I leave on her legs and she says I'll grow out of it soon anyway.

I'm a bit of a chatterer and I do tend to make chirrupy sounds as I play. I also growl like a dog when I eat chewsticks and I have a really loud purr which you would hear quite often as I'm a very happy, affectionate cat. I'm litter trained and I'm trying to be more ladylike but I do make strange noises from my bottom and then everyone runs away from me.

We both like to squeeze into small spaces so our new family would have to check we weren't getting behind kitchen units or locked in cupboards. If possible, we'd also really like a bed to share because we might be nervous at first in our new home and we'd feel more comfortable sleeping together.

This is us in bed. William is poking his tongue out and Maisie is on the left as you look at the picture.

Jules is very upset that we can't stay here with her. She might cry a bit when we leave and we know she'll miss us lots but she'll feel loads happier if she knows we've gone to a nice home with a family who will love us and look after us properly. She's got fabulous friends and she's hoping that one of them might read this and fall in love with us enough to collect us before her lungs get too bad again and she has to take us to the rescue centre.

Could you be our new family? If you think we could be happy in your home and you'd like us to come and live with you you can get in touch with Jules by leaving a comment below or alternatively via twitter (@_iamjules) or facebook if you're already connected there.

We're really excited about meeting you

lots of love

Maisie and William

>^..^<            >^..^<

Some Very Disappointing News

This is just a very short post to let everyone know that I will not be taking part in the Inca Trek/Machu Piccu challenge with Metro Radio this month.

Most people already know that I had a bad accident whilst quad biking in 2009 which resulted in me undergoing reconstructive surgery to my leg. Although the surgeon did a cracking job at the time, my knee is considerably weaker as a result of the accident and unfortunately, I damaged it again whilst out walking recently. My doctor has advised that the leg is not robust enough to undertake the Inca challenge at this time and I have therefore had to pull out of the trek on medical grounds.

I was very appreciative of the fact that so many of you pledged sponsorship money via my Just Giving page. This will now be refunded to you via the card you used to make the original donation. Can you please allow fourteen days for this to be administered and then let me know if you did not receive your refund. The process is entirely independent of me but I am happy to chase up Metro Radio and Just Giving on your behalf if necessary. Thank you very much for your support and patience.

I am obviously disappointed about this recent turn of events but I'm trying hard not to feel too envious as I read the posts from my fellow trekkers as they make their final preparations before Friday ;-)

Good luck to everyone taking part on the trek. I'll be tuning in to Metro Radio to follow your progress over the next two weeks and I'm looking forward to hearing all about it when you return. Have fun!