Wednesday, 21 May 2014

Absence

I haven't blogged much over the last six months. 

Actually, that isn't strictly true. I've blogged a lot but I've been pretty low and none of it has been fit for human consumption so I haven't actually published anything I've written.

That can be an ongoing problem for me and my scribbles. 

I try to keep this blog reasonably active, which I use as a forum to share my latest escapades with family and friends in different locations. I also keep a private journal which is more for the really personal stuff and absolutely not to be shared with anyone else. 

The journal is a really good way of offloading and maintaining perspective when life is crowding in and I can't see the wood for the trees. When I am faced with an issue, it often helps to get it out of my head and onto a piece of paper where I can make more sense of it and reach a decision more clearly. 

It's also a good way of keeping a record of life's ups and downs so I can see the constant ebb and flow of good times and bad. Feelings and emotions are transient but writing them down in black and white makes them more permanent and, when life is tough, provides a clear reminder that life has been tough before and I survived; that I'm more resilient than I think I am; that it does get better eventually. 

Mark was so good at keeping his daily journal. He always claimed that getting too far behind with it affected his equilibrium and made him feel off balance somehow. I really used to admire his commitment but I never quite manage it myself. I tend to write in my own journal when times are stressful. It helps but in the process, I build a written record of all the bad experiences in life without any of the good. In turn, when I flick back through my journal, it appears to show that I've had a dreadful, angst-filled life which, of course, is not the case at all. 

So, the aim of this post is two-fold:

1. It's a reminder to myself that I need to start blogging again. I'll  publish the entries I've written over the last six months but I'll clean them up first, sanitise them a little so they remain true but aren't quite as dark as the place they were written from. 

2. It's also a reminder to myself that I need to develop a daily practice of writing in my private journal, thereby capturing both the joy and the difficulties of everyday life. I know that it works for me. I just need to establish a decent routine.